Today was B's first OT appointment, and as a result, I finally have some better information on what to do to help him!  To be perfectly honest, I'm a bit overwhelmed at everything we are, and will be, doing for Ben. It seems the whole of every day is devoted to him, at the expense of everyone/thing else in my life. I'm hoping that soon it will become rote and just what we do, and not such a Big Thing. Anyway, on to the session!

When we arrived at the OT's B was thrilled to know he was going into The Green Room. When he had his evaluation a few months ago, we were in The Blue Room and he has been desperate to find out what was behind the door with the green square!

He was able to explore the room to check everything out while Emma (the OT) got things sorted for the session.  Then B got to pick out a few activities from a bunch that selected for him.  He chose the tire (big inflated donut hanging from the ceiling), puzzle, bean bin and therapy ball.

The tire, he was able to jump on, and through, and swing on and fall off of - over and over - while Emma and I chatted about things.  He was in heaven. He's VERY much a bump and crash sensory seeker!

Then he had to take apart the puzzle, take all the pieces up to a platform via ladder and sit there and wait for instructions.  She gave him an obstacle course to follow - go down the slippery dip (slide), under the platform swing, over the wedge ramp, and through the tire, then put the puzzle piece in, and start over.  You could just see that he had a great time, and even though he was working his body hard, it wasn't a manic, or frenzied activity.

Then he played in a box full of dried broad beans, looking for little plastic toys, followed by some "funny walking" - like a crab and kicking the therapy ball back and forth from that position.  Then we had some pressure lessons with the brush and joint compression.

You could see he was responding VERY well to what he was doing, which gives me some hope that with repetition, he will be able to organise himself.

Emma was happy to know that we have been using a structured schedule (more on that here), and said that it would be fairly easy to incorporate the sensory diet into the day we have already.  Already tonight, I've seen some success with the addition of brushing and joint compression to our nightly routine. The boys settled into bed far quicker than they have recently!  I have a lot to think about and plan over the next few days!

Which brings me to a bit of a tangent: the Mister and I have our "date night" tonight (on the lounge, in front of the TV. We're such party animals. lol) so I will hit "Publish" and walk away from the computer and all things SPD and kid-related for a few hours.

What have you done for yourself, and/or your relationship, recently? I've recently made a promise to myself that I will make time for myself (via exercise and physio) and for my marriage, via these "Date Nights" when we usually watch NCIS and NCIS:LA. It's a chance for the Mister to get away from work for a bit, and for us to just BE together without doing anything. It's been hard for me, because there is SO much to do...but it will be there in a few hours.

Even if you take just a few minutes, take some time for yourself today. Dance around the house to your favourite song, take a quick walk and get some fresh air, or take a nice bath. Whatever you do, just enjoy it and be IN the moment!

I've mentioned before that B is a very social child. Overly social in some respects. Doesn't understand the concept of "Stranger danger" at. all.

It worries me. When he was younger I worried he would trust the wrong person when he was older. Now I still worry about that, but I also worry that his feelings will be hurt. He's very sensitive, and doesn't really understand that not everyone is his friend, and not everyone thinks he's clever.

Doesn't understand that there are a whole mess of people who feel children should be seen and not heard. Who don't think he's clever and cute. So far, most of the people he's come in contact with think he's great, and it makes me happy that they're so open to talking to him.

B loves - LOVES - to have conversations with "growmups" because we have all the answers. Other kids don't know much about the workings of the world, and he needs to know everything about the world.

He knows how a piston engine works. He knows what the insulators on power wires are. He knows a lot of things that a 5 year old probably shouldn't...and if YOU don't know what it is, he is more than happy to tell you all about it. In detail.

Right now he's obsessed with Juicers. I have no idea where he even heard of juicers, but that's what he's all about lately.  Tomorrow we're going to someone's house who has a juicer.  I may have to warn her that she's going to have to answer a lot of questions... lol

My biggest challenge with B is to teach him how to appropriately share space with other people. He's very intense and often can't shift from his focus/need/interest to see what else is going on around him.

So in effect I have a social child who has no idea how to be around other people. Thankfully at the moment he's cute and young and people tend to love his thirst for knowledge. But I know that soon it's going to change. I'm going to get more "looks" and he's going to be getting more negative attention. Which will hurt his feelings.

I'm hoping that the people we are surrounding ourselves with, through the homeschooling network,  will give him a soft place to land. Where he can be himself, where the "growmups" will understand, because their kids are like this too.

I've been thinking of that song from Mary Poppins - the one Mr. Banks sings, about his "shed-yool"! ;)

Let's talk about schedules and routines. Do you have one? Do you stick to it? Does your *child* like it?

I am not a person who is tidy and organised by nature. I have mild ADD and I used to have to do a million things at once, so my work space was often cluttered as a result. I remember when I was working for a small law firm about 12 years ago, and I had my daily routine down pat. I had most of my work done by mid-morning and my filing was under control. It left me plenty of time to handle the "big jobs" my bosses threw at me, often at the last minute. I have Flylady to thank for that. While I never took it as far as she does, I learned so much from her about routines.

When we first moved back to this town a little over four years ago, again, I had a routine, and we did well with it. The housework never got completely out of control, B was 10 months old and we had a busy week with story time at the library, swimming, playgroup, and later, when he started walking, kindergym. It seemed so easy at that point!

Fast forward four years. We have moved into a much smaller house, we now have another child, and our own business, and a fraction of the income we used to have. To say it's challenging to organise life is an understatement. It's also against my nature. I KNOW I do well when I have a routine, but it's hard to get into one for me. I'm SO not a morning person. I mumble along in the morning, throwing food to the lion...er children, and holding my cuppa like it's a life line. On really bad days I start the diet coke right away. :P Somewhere around, oh, 11:00 I might perk up a bit and throw a load of laundry in and make sure the boys aren't leaving permanent marks on each other or any walls. Then I do *something* that needs to be done. Then I'm good. lol

However, in the back of my mind like the nagging wife I am not, is the weekly cleaning routine from the control journal I created years ago.  I still go with it, when I am motivated to. Mondays are our bedroom and office. Tuesdays are the bathrooms/toilet. Wednesday is the boys' room and laundry room. Thursday is Bin night, so I clean the kitchen. Friday is...um. Well, something I haven't yet done. lol

This doesn't work if you have a family and a business and lots (and LOTS) of STUFF.

This also doesn't work if you have a child like B that thrives on structure, even though he tends to resist it at times. Everything I have read has stressed routine. Not necessarily minute by minute, but things that happen in a certain order, every day. Meals and snacks at the same time, wake up at the same time, bed at the same time, etc. However B HAS to know what time things happen. Or he asks us eleventy billion times (<-- technical number, that!) and it drive me mental. So I have worked up a routine. I'm not sure who it's going to be hardest on, because I have to drag my bum out of bed BEFORE 7am if I want to get a shower in. *grumble mutter* I thought the whole point of working and schooling AT HOME was to not have to conform to anyone's schedule. PFFT! The things we do for our kids, hey?

Anyway - here is our new routine/schedule, starting tomorrow.

I colour coded different parts of the day - like times we eat (teal), time to play (purple) etc., so B will be able to find them easily. He can read the list, but he's still unsure of himself with reading, and I'm hoping this will help him find things on the list. This one will live on our fridge, but I've also written out some (sloppy) little cards for the mister's and my desks, so he knows where we are in the day, and what needs to be done if I am otherwise occupied. I have made my own schedule as well, for things I will be doing when the boys are having their playtime and nap/quiet time. It's going to be REALLY hard for me to do this, so I could use some moral support/productive vibes send my way!  I'm hoping to tackle some of my decluttering/organising projects during this magical "free time" I've scheduled in. That's a topic for a future post though! :)

B has always been a high needs child, ever since he was born. Of course being my first, I didn't realise that, and honestly, I felt like a failure because it was just *so hard* to take care of him. Of course now that I've had a second child, I know that B wasn't a typical child.  He was late to do many things that other children do, and had a hard time adjusting to change.  Things settled down a bit when we moved interstate when he was about 9 months old, and he seemed to be "catching up" to things other kids were doing.

Fast forward to when he was 18 months and I first realised something was "wrong" with his temperament.  I talked to everyone - both friends and professionals, who all assured me it was "just a phase." Unfortunately 4 years later, we're still dealing with a lot of the same things we did back then. I don't hold it against any of my friends, but I struggle with trusting professionals to accurately understand things, due to this.
B has always - always - loved other people. His favourite thing was to be around a lot of people and activity, even if we weren't interacting with them. The solution? I spent a LOT of time at the shopping centres for the first 8 months of his life!

When we moved, I didn't feel the need to be out of the house quite so much. I LOVED the house we lived in, loved the neighbourhood we lived in and the park nearby, so we were quite active.

Things got rough when he turned 2 and I fell pregnant with Z. Honestly, the next year is quite a blur and he and I came out on the other side of it virtual strangers.  It still makes me sad that so much time was lost with him.
When B was 3.5 he had a checkup and I was at my wits end. I desperately asked for help and was told to read Raising Your Spirited Child. It helped, and I am actually re-reading the book right now. I HIGHLY recommend it if you have a child that is MORE than other kids - more intense, sensitive, perceptive and/or energetic - among other things! It may just give you the tools to help both you and your child be happier, calmer and more successful at things in life.

Of course, there is a lot of trial and error with these sorts of things, which has carried through to today. He has since been evaluated by both a psychologist and an occupational therapist, which is how we arrived at our diagnosis.

More on that tomorrow, I think, as it is WAY past my bedtime - morning comes early around these parts!