I've been thinking of that song from Mary Poppins - the one Mr. Banks sings, about his "shed-yool"! ;)

Let's talk about schedules and routines. Do you have one? Do you stick to it? Does your *child* like it?

I am not a person who is tidy and organised by nature. I have mild ADD and I used to have to do a million things at once, so my work space was often cluttered as a result. I remember when I was working for a small law firm about 12 years ago, and I had my daily routine down pat. I had most of my work done by mid-morning and my filing was under control. It left me plenty of time to handle the "big jobs" my bosses threw at me, often at the last minute. I have Flylady to thank for that. While I never took it as far as she does, I learned so much from her about routines.

When we first moved back to this town a little over four years ago, again, I had a routine, and we did well with it. The housework never got completely out of control, B was 10 months old and we had a busy week with story time at the library, swimming, playgroup, and later, when he started walking, kindergym. It seemed so easy at that point!

Fast forward four years. We have moved into a much smaller house, we now have another child, and our own business, and a fraction of the income we used to have. To say it's challenging to organise life is an understatement. It's also against my nature. I KNOW I do well when I have a routine, but it's hard to get into one for me. I'm SO not a morning person. I mumble along in the morning, throwing food to the lion...er children, and holding my cuppa like it's a life line. On really bad days I start the diet coke right away. :P Somewhere around, oh, 11:00 I might perk up a bit and throw a load of laundry in and make sure the boys aren't leaving permanent marks on each other or any walls. Then I do *something* that needs to be done. Then I'm good. lol

However, in the back of my mind like the nagging wife I am not, is the weekly cleaning routine from the control journal I created years ago.  I still go with it, when I am motivated to. Mondays are our bedroom and office. Tuesdays are the bathrooms/toilet. Wednesday is the boys' room and laundry room. Thursday is Bin night, so I clean the kitchen. Friday is...um. Well, something I haven't yet done. lol

This doesn't work if you have a family and a business and lots (and LOTS) of STUFF.

This also doesn't work if you have a child like B that thrives on structure, even though he tends to resist it at times. Everything I have read has stressed routine. Not necessarily minute by minute, but things that happen in a certain order, every day. Meals and snacks at the same time, wake up at the same time, bed at the same time, etc. However B HAS to know what time things happen. Or he asks us eleventy billion times (<-- technical number, that!) and it drive me mental. So I have worked up a routine. I'm not sure who it's going to be hardest on, because I have to drag my bum out of bed BEFORE 7am if I want to get a shower in. *grumble mutter* I thought the whole point of working and schooling AT HOME was to not have to conform to anyone's schedule. PFFT! The things we do for our kids, hey?

Anyway - here is our new routine/schedule, starting tomorrow.

I colour coded different parts of the day - like times we eat (teal), time to play (purple) etc., so B will be able to find them easily. He can read the list, but he's still unsure of himself with reading, and I'm hoping this will help him find things on the list. This one will live on our fridge, but I've also written out some (sloppy) little cards for the mister's and my desks, so he knows where we are in the day, and what needs to be done if I am otherwise occupied. I have made my own schedule as well, for things I will be doing when the boys are having their playtime and nap/quiet time. It's going to be REALLY hard for me to do this, so I could use some moral support/productive vibes send my way!  I'm hoping to tackle some of my decluttering/organising projects during this magical "free time" I've scheduled in. That's a topic for a future post though! :)

B has always been a high needs child, ever since he was born. Of course being my first, I didn't realise that, and honestly, I felt like a failure because it was just *so hard* to take care of him. Of course now that I've had a second child, I know that B wasn't a typical child.  He was late to do many things that other children do, and had a hard time adjusting to change.  Things settled down a bit when we moved interstate when he was about 9 months old, and he seemed to be "catching up" to things other kids were doing.

Fast forward to when he was 18 months and I first realised something was "wrong" with his temperament.  I talked to everyone - both friends and professionals, who all assured me it was "just a phase." Unfortunately 4 years later, we're still dealing with a lot of the same things we did back then. I don't hold it against any of my friends, but I struggle with trusting professionals to accurately understand things, due to this.
B has always - always - loved other people. His favourite thing was to be around a lot of people and activity, even if we weren't interacting with them. The solution? I spent a LOT of time at the shopping centres for the first 8 months of his life!

When we moved, I didn't feel the need to be out of the house quite so much. I LOVED the house we lived in, loved the neighbourhood we lived in and the park nearby, so we were quite active.

Things got rough when he turned 2 and I fell pregnant with Z. Honestly, the next year is quite a blur and he and I came out on the other side of it virtual strangers.  It still makes me sad that so much time was lost with him.
When B was 3.5 he had a checkup and I was at my wits end. I desperately asked for help and was told to read Raising Your Spirited Child. It helped, and I am actually re-reading the book right now. I HIGHLY recommend it if you have a child that is MORE than other kids - more intense, sensitive, perceptive and/or energetic - among other things! It may just give you the tools to help both you and your child be happier, calmer and more successful at things in life.

Of course, there is a lot of trial and error with these sorts of things, which has carried through to today. He has since been evaluated by both a psychologist and an occupational therapist, which is how we arrived at our diagnosis.

More on that tomorrow, I think, as it is WAY past my bedtime - morning comes early around these parts!

Though most of you reading this right now will know my story from travelling this journey with me, I'll do a bit of a recap of things for future readers.

As you can guess by the title, I have two boys, who are "Twice exceptional" - gifted and dealing with some other disorder.  In our case it's Sensory Processing Disorder. Now, technically only my oldest, Ben (5) has been evaluated, but experience and observation have shown us that our youngest, Zach (2.5), is also dealing with a lot of the same issues. 

This blog will cover our experiences in finding balance in life. I have a full plate. My husband and I have our own business, which enables us both to be at home with our children, but also puts a strain on us financially.  My husband works about 15-18 hours of the day, while I taking care of the boys and the housework (not well, let me tell you)!  Added to that we have started homeschooling B, and it's really chaotic in our house of a day.

We are working on changing our routines, commitments and our expectations, in the hopes that we will all lead a happier, calmer, daily life.

A few things I'd like to get out of the way though: 

1) I am by no means a writer.  I write like I'm talking to someone - to you! I'm going to make mistakes, I guarantee it. Especially considering I only have time to write at about 10pm most nights.  I am open to correction, but please be gentle. 

2) I use smilies a lot.  Probably more than I should. Just a warning. ;)

3) I am not a photographer. If I share pictures, they will be candid shots, taken with my camera phone. Probably blurry because my kids never sit still long enough for the picture to snap. If the mister is feeling creative it might be one of his snaps.  I have been encouraging his interest in our DSLR as a way to get out of the house and have some down time. 

4) I will not allow nasty comments. If you can't be polite, move along.  I am writing this simply because I need an outlet for the experiences  I am going through, and because the few people I know in similar situations and I have trouble finding others dealing with this sort of thing. It's a place to get ideas, not insults. I really appreciate when people can have differing opinions without getting rude - I find I grow more when I am challenged to think about something in a different way.

Anyway, thanks for reading so far!

Thanks for checking out my new blog. It's currently a work in progress, but I hope to have some actual content soon!